In my previous post, "Solving Horse Problems: No Quick Fixes," I explored why I don't offer immediate solutions to a horse's behavior issues without direct observation. I emphasized that true expertise lies not in having ready-made answers, but in developing the skills to investigate, observe, and understand what is happening with each individual horse. This investigative approach relies on trust. You cannot rush or manufacture trust.
Before you can solve any problem with your horse, you need to assess whether your horse trusts you. This isn't about whether you think you're trustworthy—it's about whether your horse feels safe with you in each moment you interact.
Why Trust Matters in Problem-Solving
Trust fundamentally changes how horses respond to pressure, new situations, and our requests. A horse who trusts you will give you the benefit of the doubt when something goes wrong. They'll look to you for guidance rather than defaulting to flight. What matters most for our goals is that a trusting horse reveals its true nature instead of concealing problems with stress and watchfulness.
Without trust, you're not seeing your horse's genuine issues—you're seeing their stress responses layered on top of whatever the actual problem might be.
Understanding How Horses Assess Trust
Various horse training methodologies explore the concept of earning trust through relationship-building, including Connected Riding, the Tellington Method, and Natural Horsemanship approaches. While these methods differ in technique, they share the understanding that horses evaluate trust differently than humans do.
We tend to build trust through experience and track records. If I loan Susie money and she promises to pay it back within two weeks, and she indeed repays without delay, experience will make me more inclined to trust her with another loan. This process requires cataloging behavior over time and making projections based on experience.
Horses' minds don't work this way. They live in the moment, and whether they trust you is based on how they feel during each interaction. However, consistent behavior on your part can establish you as part of their trusted web of those they interact with—like members of their herd. Once you've achieved this status, horses will "let down" their guard and display specific signs of trust.
Six Key Signs Your Horse Trusts You
Trust is conveyed through subtle behaviors that often go unnoticed by horse owners focused on "getting things done." Learning to recognize these signs will help you assess your relationship and guide your problem-solving approach.
1. Head Lowered Below the Withers
When your horse stands next to you with their head lowered below wither height, they're showing neurological relaxation. This posture puts them in a vulnerable position—they feel safe enough to stop constantly monitoring their environment for predators, an activity characterized by a raised head, wide eyes, and pricked ears. This is often the first sign you'll notice when a horse trusts.
Do you notice when your horse assumes this position?
2. Licking and Chewing
This behavior indicates a horse is transitioning from tension to relaxation. Bodyworkers strive to invoke this response because it signals the horse is releasing physical tension and processing new sensations. Trainers value it because it positions a horse to learn. When you see licking and chewing during or after interactions, your horse is processing the experience positively.
What makes your horse lick and chew?
3. Turning Hindquarters Toward You
This behavior is often misunderstood as disrespect or met with alarm because we fear being kicked. However, consider this: would a horse remove you from their direct line of sight if they perceived you as a threat?
When a horse turns their hindquarters toward you with a soft body, a relaxed tail, and looks back over their shoulder, they may be inviting you to join them or follow. This is a form of "leading from the front." You can test this: stand with your back to your horse and turn about three-quarters toward them. If they connect with you, they'll follow as you turn away and walk off—demonstrating tremendous trust in your leadership.
Does your horse exhibit this behavior?
4. Normal Breathing Patterns
Watch for steady, normal breathing, especially when accompanied by occasional sighs. This shows your horse doesn't feel threatened. If your horse breathes shallowly or holds their breath when you approach, you have work to do before addressing any specific problems.
Do you take note of your horse’s breathing patterns? How about your own?
5. Voluntary Approach and Nickering
Setting aside treat delivery, if your horse nickers and moves toward you when you appear, you've achieved something special. You've become a preferred member of their herd—someone they choose to be near.
Does your horse choose to be with you?
6. Willingness to Lie Down in Your Presence
This is perhaps the ultimate trust indicator. Horses' DNA has ingrained the ability to flee at any moment; it is a survival essential. At the slightest sign of potential danger, a horse lying down will scramble to their feet.
If your horse remains lying down as you approach, allows you to halter them, or even permits you to sit or lie beside them, you've achieved remarkable trust. This behavior is the cornerstone measure of James French's “Trust Technique,” a method that focuses on reducing anxiety and building connection through shared peaceful states.
The Reward and Responsibility of Trust
Being with horses that trust us provides one of the most rewarding feelings possible—because you cannot train a horse to trust you or demand trust from them. Trust must be earned, and it's an integral part of the bonding process I promote in my book, In It for the Horses: A Journey from Whips to Whispers.
Gaining your horse's trust means you've adjusted yourself and your attitudes to honor their spirit and put their needs before your own agenda. It also means you have a responsibility: once earned, trust can be lost through impatience, inconsistency, or prioritizing results over relationship.
Moving Forward
In upcoming posts, I'll share specific observation techniques and documentation methods to help you become more skilled at reading your horse. But I'll also explore specific exercises for building trust, how to recognize and address trust-eroding behaviors, and case studies showing how trust issues often masquerade as training problems. Understanding the crucial difference between compliance and trust will be key to everything we discuss.
First, though, assess where you stand with trust. If your horse shows little or no sign of trust, the main issue to address is your relationship, not their behavior.
Remember: a horse who doesn't trust you will never show you their authentic self. Until you have trust, you're not solving your horse's actual problems—you're just managing their stress responses.
Before you can solve any problem with your horse, you need to assess whether your horse trusts you. This isn't about whether you think you're trustworthy—it's about whether your horse feels safe with you in each moment you interact.
Why Trust Matters in Problem-Solving
Trust fundamentally changes how horses respond to pressure, new situations, and our requests. A horse who trusts you will give you the benefit of the doubt when something goes wrong. They'll look to you for guidance rather than defaulting to flight. What matters most for our goals is that a trusting horse reveals its true nature instead of concealing problems with stress and watchfulness.
Without trust, you're not seeing your horse's genuine issues—you're seeing their stress responses layered on top of whatever the actual problem might be.
Understanding How Horses Assess Trust
Various horse training methodologies explore the concept of earning trust through relationship-building, including Connected Riding, the Tellington Method, and Natural Horsemanship approaches. While these methods differ in technique, they share the understanding that horses evaluate trust differently than humans do.
We tend to build trust through experience and track records. If I loan Susie money and she promises to pay it back within two weeks, and she indeed repays without delay, experience will make me more inclined to trust her with another loan. This process requires cataloging behavior over time and making projections based on experience.
Horses' minds don't work this way. They live in the moment, and whether they trust you is based on how they feel during each interaction. However, consistent behavior on your part can establish you as part of their trusted web of those they interact with—like members of their herd. Once you've achieved this status, horses will "let down" their guard and display specific signs of trust.
Six Key Signs Your Horse Trusts You
Trust is conveyed through subtle behaviors that often go unnoticed by horse owners focused on "getting things done." Learning to recognize these signs will help you assess your relationship and guide your problem-solving approach.
1. Head Lowered Below the Withers
When your horse stands next to you with their head lowered below wither height, they're showing neurological relaxation. This posture puts them in a vulnerable position—they feel safe enough to stop constantly monitoring their environment for predators, an activity characterized by a raised head, wide eyes, and pricked ears. This is often the first sign you'll notice when a horse trusts.
Do you notice when your horse assumes this position?
2. Licking and Chewing
This behavior indicates a horse is transitioning from tension to relaxation. Bodyworkers strive to invoke this response because it signals the horse is releasing physical tension and processing new sensations. Trainers value it because it positions a horse to learn. When you see licking and chewing during or after interactions, your horse is processing the experience positively.
What makes your horse lick and chew?
3. Turning Hindquarters Toward You
This behavior is often misunderstood as disrespect or met with alarm because we fear being kicked. However, consider this: would a horse remove you from their direct line of sight if they perceived you as a threat?
When a horse turns their hindquarters toward you with a soft body, a relaxed tail, and looks back over their shoulder, they may be inviting you to join them or follow. This is a form of "leading from the front." You can test this: stand with your back to your horse and turn about three-quarters toward them. If they connect with you, they'll follow as you turn away and walk off—demonstrating tremendous trust in your leadership.
Does your horse exhibit this behavior?
4. Normal Breathing Patterns
Watch for steady, normal breathing, especially when accompanied by occasional sighs. This shows your horse doesn't feel threatened. If your horse breathes shallowly or holds their breath when you approach, you have work to do before addressing any specific problems.
Do you take note of your horse’s breathing patterns? How about your own?
5. Voluntary Approach and Nickering
Setting aside treat delivery, if your horse nickers and moves toward you when you appear, you've achieved something special. You've become a preferred member of their herd—someone they choose to be near.
Does your horse choose to be with you?
6. Willingness to Lie Down in Your Presence
This is perhaps the ultimate trust indicator. Horses' DNA has ingrained the ability to flee at any moment; it is a survival essential. At the slightest sign of potential danger, a horse lying down will scramble to their feet.
If your horse remains lying down as you approach, allows you to halter them, or even permits you to sit or lie beside them, you've achieved remarkable trust. This behavior is the cornerstone measure of James French's “Trust Technique,” a method that focuses on reducing anxiety and building connection through shared peaceful states.
The Reward and Responsibility of Trust
Being with horses that trust us provides one of the most rewarding feelings possible—because you cannot train a horse to trust you or demand trust from them. Trust must be earned, and it's an integral part of the bonding process I promote in my book, In It for the Horses: A Journey from Whips to Whispers.
Gaining your horse's trust means you've adjusted yourself and your attitudes to honor their spirit and put their needs before your own agenda. It also means you have a responsibility: once earned, trust can be lost through impatience, inconsistency, or prioritizing results over relationship.
Moving Forward
In upcoming posts, I'll share specific observation techniques and documentation methods to help you become more skilled at reading your horse. But I'll also explore specific exercises for building trust, how to recognize and address trust-eroding behaviors, and case studies showing how trust issues often masquerade as training problems. Understanding the crucial difference between compliance and trust will be key to everything we discuss.
First, though, assess where you stand with trust. If your horse shows little or no sign of trust, the main issue to address is your relationship, not their behavior.
Remember: a horse who doesn't trust you will never show you their authentic self. Until you have trust, you're not solving your horse's actual problems—you're just managing their stress responses.
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